I never post on here anymore. I'm not sure why.

I was reading my older posts, last one was from March.

Goodness me. I have changed so much since then, and gone through so many phases. It amazes me sometimes how much we change and how we never seem to notice our differences.

Anyway, I'm off.

Hopefully, maybe, possibly, I'll update more often. x

I doubt anyone will ever read this, but in the off chance someone does, I have a twitter, if you're interested.

Http://www.twitter.com/nikkiskyline

March 2, 2009

Haven't blogged here in forever. I started using Tumblr, but I still don't use it that much. x]



So I feel that this year is making a major turn around, and it's increasingly getting better in just a week.

This entire school year has all around just been shit, and last week, just when I thought it was about to get worse, everything turned out so right, and I got an amazing guy out of it.
And I also lost the one who was holding me back, which was a major plus.

He's so great, and I'm so glad that I finally have him in my life more. Sort of.
The thing that gets me down about being with him is that I can never see him outside of school because his religion doesn't allow him to hang out with 'school friends' outside of school. He's also not allowed to date outside of his religion, but he's taking a chance with me anyway.

And as it turns out, he's liked me for long time. I never would have known had this week not happened.

Anyways, I don't have time to go into details, but I'm just super happy.
I'll try to start blogging here more. :)


Also, I dyed part of my hair purple a while ago.

[I hate this picture, but whatever. :)]

Reflecting 2008.

It was probably the worst year I've ever had, ending pretty okay.

I was sad and depressed for most of it, and I didn't care that I showed it either. I was weak, and pathetic, and vulnerable. I fought with my mom all the time, and I complained about my life that really wasn't THAT bad to my friends, and then later found out who my real friends were.

I guess now, I've made a complete turn around from all of that. I realized that there's no point in being sad and depressed all the time, it only made me more miserable, and I really didn't need it. As for being weak, pathetic, and vulnerable, AND showing it on top of that, well, like I said, I was pathetic. I understand why I did all of that, but now, I don't need to show it, because I've come a long way, and I'm stronger than that. (Looking back on it, I wish I didn't show my feelings as much.)

Somewhere in all of that, my mom and I fixed all of our problems. I'm not sure how either, I like it though. The idea of actually getting along with her is still kind of new to me, but I like it a LOT better than fighting and arguing with her all the time.

As for my friends, I only have two best friends that mean more to me than you could imagine. The rest of them have backstabbed me, or lied to me, or we've just grown apart. What's sad and slightly upsetting about it is that I'm growing apart right now from one of my other 'best friends' (I use that term lightly.*) who was there with me through everything this past year, but I've actually come to realize how bad of a friend she was to me. She lied, and did everything she could to make sure that if she was unhappy, I was too. Well, mostly she just tried to make sure I was unhappy, even if she wasn't.

I've learned to stop trusting people until they actually give me a reason to trust them. And now my feelings aren't held in, but only shared to the ones I know will listen and care. And I know that if I learn to be patient, good things will come. Just because things aren't okay at the time, doesn't mean they won't be in the end.

I know that this isn't as in depth as it could be, but honestly, TOO much has happened that would take a lot of time to explain, and a deep understanding of why I did the things I did, and why the things that happened, occured, as an effect of what the other people involved did.
The things I learned through the year, for me to sit here and type out all of the 'lessons' I learned, would just be ridiculous. But no doubt, it has changed me for the better, and it's made me more mature for someone my age. And I can't say I regret this past year at all.

Song: The Point- Eatmewhileimhot! (aka Mister Owl)

Afterthought: I'm so cliche.