Nikki can't blog.

Seriously, my thoughts are everywhere when I try to blog, and I always feel like I'm getting off topic.

First thing I would like to talk about, since it's going on right now would be Dillon. Jesus! I am so sick of him. He's texting me almost every minute, and he just won't go away. I mean, he's nice and all, but good lord, can he not take a hint? We aren't dating, and I don't need someone to check up on me every second of everyday.

So what do I do? I change my attitude towards him a bit, but he doesn't get it. And now I'm to the point where I just need to be upfront with him and tell him that I just don't like him that way anymore. It makes me seem like a complete bitch, but really, he's just pushing me over the edge.

On a completely different note, I have been rather happy with things lately. I seem to always have this temporary happiness, and don't get me wrong, I love it, but I wish it lasted all the time. It sounds kind of pessimistic, but really, I just deal with too many things, even though it seems like I don't.

And Christmas is coming up. I'm kind of excited. I'll be estatic by Christmas day though. I already know about half of presents. Whoops.

Also, while I'm thinking about it, something that made me sad all day. I had a dream early this morning involving my ex-boyfriend. It started out I was somewhere with a senior that goes to my school, that I'm also friends with, and we walked to some place I'm guessing was near my school. I saw him in there sitting, and I walked to a table to set my things down. He kept looking at me, which I thought was weird, and he acted like he was going to knock my things off the table. But it wasn't in a mean way, it was in a teasing sort of way, like he used to do. And at first, I was just so confused by this because I was used to him ignoring me and never talking to me. But he looked at me, again like he used to and asked me to hug him. I looked at him in disbelief, and said, 'Really?', he nodded, and I leaned in to hug him. It was the longest hug I'd had in a long time. It felt so real, and it felt like the old times. I started to pull away, but he wouldn't let me go. I felt safe again.

It sounds stupid that this dream is actually bringing me to tears, but it is. It's been so long, and it still hurts to think about these things. I mean, I'm pretty much over it all, but it just still hurts sometimes. Like other things.

Enough of that.

Anyway, also lately, I've been talking in third person. I don't know why I even started, but now I can't stop. It makes me sound crazy. Hahaha.

I never know how to end these things, so I'm just going to post this ridiculous picture of me.